Category Archives: Watch? No bin it!

Heavy Heart

Heavy Heart

Originally uploaded by NollywoodForever

Heavy Heart ~ 2009

I won’t even bother listing all the credits for this one as it is basically part 3 of SOMEWHERE IN THE HEART so the credits are listed there. In the beginning there is the ten minutes of Uche Jombo getting dressed *YAWN* In the part 2 we see flashbacks to part 1. It is a complete CON, RIP OFF and WASTE of money. DO NOT FALL VICTIM LIKE I DID!

To top it off we do not find out who Awole is, and it ends off like there is more!!! Can you freaking imagine?

***419 ALERT*** You have been warned!

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The Messenger’s Wife

The Messenger’s Wife

Originally uploaded by NollywoodForever

The Messenger’s Wife ~ 2009
Story/ Screenplay – Fred Asante Kotoko
Director – Samuel Nyamekye
Producer – Christopher Owusu Ansah

Starring:
Jackie Appiah – Jacqueline
Joseph Pamfo – Chief
Ebenezer Donkor – Aygatu
Van Vicker – James
Tina Osei Owusu – Gina
Benny Agbemebiase – Mary Ann
Tony Osei Frimpong
Janet Ackon
Dora Kwateng

Themes:
Prejudice
Greed
Unemployment

My Rating – 10%

He is half the height of a regular man but is due to be wed to a normal sized girl. Her parents are causing huge problems in the relationship in that they expect for him to cater to their every financial need and want. He brings them to Kumasi to live accommodate them and still they are not satisfied. His mother knows that the girl and her family are users and is determined to get rid of her.

James is jobless and lives off his girlfriend who is working. His girlfriend’s parents are putting her under to pressure to marry and have a man lined up for her. She is determined to marry James but his unstable financial situation is not one that she can present to her parents.

*************SPOILERS*************

I found it funny how the little one’s mama called him chief.

The elders would talk in Twi (I assume) and the younger ones would reply in English. I found this strange. There was never any swap. The subtitles were annoying because someone would talk for a good minute and then you would see only two words in the subtitles so it was clear than probably half of the dialogue was getting lost in translation.

This is an absolutely useless and stupid film. The title did not relate to anything. The separate storylines and acting in itself were not bad but it seems like this film is two old movies put together and sold as a new one. The first paragraph relates to part 1 of the movie and the second to part 2. The two parts do not relate in any way at all and the characters do not overlap. It was not made in 2009 as everything in it is dated. Majid and Vivian Jill Lawrence are on the cover. I did not see them for even one second. BE WARNED! STEER CLEAR! Ghanaian Movie Review Ghollywood Nigerian Film Review

After The Marriage

After The Marriage

Originally uploaded by NollywoodForever

After The Marriage ~ 2010
(Continuation to Marriage of Sorrows)
Story/ Screenplay – Okey Zubelu Okoh
Director – Kalu Anya
Producer – Chibuzor Emelu

Starring:
Pat Attah – Dr Harrison
Oge Okoye – Rita
Ngozi Ezeonu – Susan
Fred Ariko – Pastor Obinna
Zubby Micheal – Pastor Desmond
Kalu Anya – Inspector
Chukwuma Uchegbu – Ofonze
Voke Stephen – Chizoba
Emmanuel Okonkwo – Duben
Regina Okonkwo – Onyinye
Esther Ugwu – Mama
Adagbor Jennifer – Mary
Nene Ugwu – Chioma
Rita Daniels – Elder

Themes Explored:
Infidelity
“Saving Face”
Paternity

My Rating – 15%

Rita and Pastor Obinna are happily married and have three beautiful children. They live in perfect harmony until the day comes where Dr Harrison comes into her life to claim “his kids.” Children who have never known him as a father, but an uncle the reason being is that he is their father’s younger brother.

*************SPOILERS*************

40 minutes into the movie and I am just completely bored. The production is lacklustre and slow paced, just tooo GD slooooow. Even the scene where Dr Harisson confronts his brother Obinna about “his children,” a scene that was supposed to be filled with drama and tension was anticlimactic. The movie just seemed to get worse and worse as I continued watching.
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The oldest girl Chizoba looked way too old to play Rita’s daughter. They should have made her the house girl if she just had to be in the movie. She was looking about 20-24 and Rita looked to be 26-30. In another movie the two actresses could have easily been cast as roommates on campus. What a casting mishap.

If you were not told that Chizoba was Pastor Obinna’s daughter there is no way you would have even realised. Father and daughter do not relate as such, this is especially strange considering that the family is supposed to be close knit one. There is one scene where he offers her a lift to the market when he spots her on the road not far from the gate. It is as if he is approaching a stranger, there is not even the familiarity you would get with a house girl.
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Instead of Obinna letting his brother Dr Harisson take the kids and have the shame of everyone knowing that his wife had been sleeping with him he decides to kill the children. The scene where pastor Obinna takes his daughter Chizoba to a field right by the side of the road to kill her is totally ridiculous, wooden and unrealistic. You want to commit murder and you don’t even go deep into woods. You just kill the girl right there by the side of the road. RUBBISH!

Even in the aftermath of the killing the scenes were unrealistic. Everything was just so fake. There was no turmoil in Obinna, no feasible emotion. Even his anger was subdued, and this from a man who raised three children as his own and just found out that biologically they were his brother’s. NAAAA! Not buying it. He was also too calm as he was carrying out the atrocities and the fake crying afterwards was just cringeworthy.

It is ridiculous for a man who has raised children he thought of as his own to be stripped of them just like that and handed over to a man they have hardly any contact with. It would be traumatic for both parties. You can take a horse to water but you cannot make it drink. Dr Harrison snatched the children away from their lives but he could not force them to give him the love they would give to their father. This fool came to reap where he did not sow. That is a big fool manoeuvre!
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Oge Okoye really tried in the scene where she finds out about the death of Chizoba. She is wailing and head clutching and it would have been very convincing had it been a different movie. This movie, however was too much of a flop for her efforts to even matter.

Pat Attah strikes back. I guess these trips from Germany are going to become a regular thing. His fineness has somewhat waned from his heyday so it is no longer acceptable for him to be so wooden. I mean he is watchable but noticeably stiff. I wonder why Ngozi Ezeonu was even in the movie. It was pointless. She was supposed to be Pat’s ex that he had been pining over. She just looked too old for him. It wasn’t a good match at all.
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Throughout the movie we see the producer soliciting for distribution around the world, begging for people to contact him on chibu4arsenal2002@yahoo.co.uk. What a mess! If you are serious why wouldn’t you get a proper email? It is so simple to set up your own domain name these days and you are not in the football business so why would people that are trying to do business with you need to know your love for Arsenal? Sheer unprofessionalism!

As the credits roll we see the faces of all those that made the production happen, from the Production Manager to the Location Driver. It would have been a great idea if it wasn’t such a wreck of a movie. Seeing all their faces just made me curse them individually through my TV screen one by one. They showed them all dancing around to Yori Yori and other tunes. There were some very very fruity looking men whining up on each other. Did anyone else catch that? Even the dancing was overload. It was never ending and all the razzness got a bit boring.

In the end we find out the whole palava involving the killings turns out to be a dream, or should that be nightmare, yes nightmare because watching this movie really was a nightmare and waste of time. In the end we see the children run into their father’s room as he cries about killing them. Their mother also comes back after a car crash where she was badly burnt, Kudos on the burn job done on Oge’s face. That was the only thing realistic in the whole movie.
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I would not recommend this movie at all. I did not see Juliet Ibrahim at all despite her face on the cover. The storyline in itself as a whole was not bad but the execution and script were poor. There is not one scene that I can point to that made any kind of remarkable impression on me. Bloody boring, bad acting, rubbish script, poor execution. THUMBS DOWN!

Heat of the Moment

Heat Of The Moment

Originally uploaded by NollywoodForever

Heat of the Moment ~ 2009
Story – Innocent Isiakpu
Screenplay – Innocent Isiakpu & Prince Samson Onyejiuwa
Director – Prince Samson Onyejiuwa
Producer – Martina N. Okafor

Starring:
Emeka Ike – Dr Richard
Mercy Johnson – Anna
Kofi Adjorlolo – Chief Douglas
Emma Ayalogu – Chief Magnus
Cassandra Odita – Mrs Adams
Patience Oseni – Mrs Douglas
Vitalis Ndubuisi – Mr Adams
Barry Lukeman – Barrister James
Amanda Ebeye – Rita
Amina Atairu – Vivian
Peachman Akputa – Ben

Themes:
Rape
Politics
Mistaken Identity

My Rating – 33%

Anna claims that she was raped by local politician and human rights activist Dr Richards while walking home late one night. He, however is adamant that he never even saw her at any time let alone touched her. Who is telling the truth? His family believe it is a set up at the hands of his political opponents, whilst Anna has the back up of her best friend who claims to have been present at the time of the rape.

*************SPOILERS*************

The beginning of the movie is boring beyond belief. I rewound uncountable times because it just wasn’t holding my attention and I kept getting distracted… made a cup of coffee, tweeted, went on Facebook. I say grab the viewer early! So that even if later on the film gets a bit rubbish their attention will have already been snared. I only actually started properly paying attention about 25 minutes in when Anna got into an argument on the street with a random man.

The movie slowly starts getting more interesting after the rape, only slightly though, not too much. It was still rather slow and I fell asleep more than once. There was a rituals part that I didn’t get. Perhaps it didn’t make sense or maybe I wasn’t paying close enough attention. Who knows?
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Doctor James is put on trial for the rape and he is cross questioned by none other than *drumroll please* Barrister James, Anna’s boyfriend. How can the rapist be questioned by the raped one’s boyfriend? This is pure nonsense. That could never happen in real life! I have seen this sort of scenario in a few films and it is just foolish. They need to stop.

In the end we see Anna in jail telling a group of convicts her story. We then cut to seeing her released. The ending was sudden and we don’t find out how Doctor Richard’s DNA came to be on her person if he was not actually the one that raped her or not. Maybe it is a twin story. Maybe it is a ghost story. It looks like there will probably be a part 3 and 4. Either way I won’t be watching to find out.

This is one of the only movies where the issue of “light” is brought up. So a *round of applause* for that. Anna is watching Doctor Richards on TV talking about the “light problem” and the lights go off. I haven’t seen lights go off in a movie before and considering that lack of electricity is a widespread and major problem in Nigeria I’m surprised there is less talk of NEPA in the movies. NEPA affects all Nigerians’ everyday life, why is it never mentioned? Is it censorship?
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I would not recommend this movie. I found the pace too slow and the movie draaaaagged and draaaaaaagged and draaaaaaaaaaaged. When I was almost at the end of part 2 I wanted to press the eject button but thought that I may as well watch until the end since I had come so far. It didn’t make a bit of difference. I came away feeling that I had just wasted 2+ hours of my life. Nollywood Production, Nigerian Movie, African Movie, Ghanaian Actor, Nigerian Cinema, Nigerian Actresses

Naked Weapon

Naked Weapon

Originally uploaded by NollywoodForever

Naked Weapon ~ 2009
Story/ Screenplay and Direction – Ilochi Olisaemeka

Starring:
Mercy Johnson – Maureen
Jim Iyke – Mitch
Ngozi Ezeoni – Uchebuoku
Browny Igboegwu – Mr Leo
Emeka Amakeze – Boom
Juliet Ibrahim – Nneka
Zainab Egwuonwu – Adaora
Uche Jombo – Sandra
Biola Ige – Joke
Ikechukwu Siryume – Odenuan
Uchegbu Chukwuma – Mr Ugboh
Chinedu Odinachi – Barnabas
Prince Nwafor – Yul
Stella Francis – Juliet

Themes:
Counterfeit Drugs
Corruption
Murder

My Rating – 15%

Let me just say first of all I cannot give a proper synopsis as watching this movie I was lost most of the time. From what I could make out Maureen and her girls are carrying out a mission. What exactly their mission was in aid of I wasn’t 100 percent sure. I just know that they are being paid to carry out hits on people.

*************SPOILERS*************

In one scene we see the girls go and pick up a guy from the poolside and take him back to their apartment. As they walk into the apartment with the guy Maureen in hiding behind the door, lunges out stabs and kills the man. I couldn’t even begin to tell you why.
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The first few scenes are all over the place. I can’t make sense of the movie. We see:

– Girl with painted black spots on her face leaving the house.
– A guy giving money to some beggars
– A couple arguing in a restaurant
– A woman being threatened on the phone over the issue of counterfeit drugs
– A group of men having a discussion on an office

These were the first few scenes bullet pointed. They were not fluid and they did not seem related. The movie was disjointed and did not make sense to me Even after getting halfway through the movie I could only vaguely figure out what was going on.
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It the opening scene we see a child walking out of a house with black spots painted onto her face. It looks like it is face paint. Perhaps she is going to a fancy dress party… Oops no. she is not wearing any costume. Amateur Amateur Amateur. Chimoooo! Oh my life the child is supposed to be diseased! 2009 and we have amateurish painted black spots on someone’s face to signify ill health.

In another scene a hired assassin calls his bosses and tells them he is returning the money he was given for hit as he no longer wants to carry it out. As he walks down the road the sexy chicas lead by Maureen come up beside him and stab him. What that was about I do not know.
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There is no clear order of events and the numerous non dialogue scenes only add to the sense of disorientation you feel as a viewer. Added to that there is loud distracting music played haphazardly at random. The annoying weird extra terrestrial sound effects were simply dreadful.

Why did Mr Leo give the beggars money?
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Juliet Ibrahim sure is very hippy/assy considering small upper frame. Why on earth was she wearing a swimming costume over cycling shorts? It looked ridiculous. If she didn’t wasn’t to expose all her body have her not in the pool or don’t do full body shots! Why one is swimming shorts AND cyling shorts looking like somebody’s great grandma, and these are supposed to be hot chicks… NONSENSE!

Mercy looks like the original area girl. She struts the strut perfectly. We see her with her legs akimbo, her lip snarled smoking a cigarette in just the way you would imagine an area girl would. All her friends were absolutely useless as actresses.

There is a yellow chick who does not even know how to hold the cigarette and looks like she is about to choke when she inhales. I was astonished at how bad these actresses were. We see Biola Ige – Useless. Juliet Ibrahim was pretty useless (but not as much as the others) too. In one scene they have her weeping for a good 5 minutes while reading a newspaper with a voiceover telling a story about counterfeit drugs and the tragedies they can cause. It was tedious.
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I would not recommend the movie at all. The storylines did not tie in together and there was too much bad acting going on courtesy of the “glamour squad” that must have been hired to draw in male viewers. Uche and Jim were barely in the movie and I had to switch off halfway into part 2. I would applaud the attempt at trying to tackle the very important issue of counterfeit drugs, as this is something that is a major problem in Nigeria, however this movie failed to entertain, educate or make sense on a very grand scale.

Beyond Conspiracy

Beyond Conspiracy

Originally uploaded by NollywoodForever

Beyond Conspiracy ~ 2009
Story, Screenplay and Direction – Ugezu J Ugezu

Starring:
Ini Edo – Manari
Van Vicker – Michael
Amaechi Muonagor – King Nzeribe
Tonto Dikeh – Ugo
Ifeanyi Ikechukwu – Nwebe
Joyce Kalu – Okwuoma
Walta Anga – Baron
Collette Nkem Orji – Ngozi
Gaddiel Onwudiwe – Okeke
Browny Igboegwu – Kingsley
Evelyn Esin – Sandra
Ugezu J Ugezu –Ozomma
Denis Osadebe – McCarthy
Okwudili Oguegbu

Themes:
Royalty
Social Class and Status

My Rating 22%

The movie tells a story about a Prince Michael who is due to be married to a girl from a rich family that his parents have picked for him but in actuality wants to marry his own choice who is a girl from a poor home. I can tell straight way that the movie is going to be boring. It starts off that way and continues that way. It is an uninspiring unoriginal below mediocre story about a prince and a pauper *YAWN* Similar to Palace Maid but even more drab. There is nothing new in this movie and nothing to evoke any sort of reaction but yawning.

*************SPOILERS*************

The story is badly executed and a lot of the dialogue is unrealistic. In one scene we see Ugo played by Tonto begging the Prince played by Van to leave Manari his pauper girlfriend. The speech that she delivers to him is over the top and unbelievable. She tells him, “imagine us ruling the world together,” in a bid to convince him to get with her. For a pretty, rich girl it all seems so unnecessarily desperate, especially considering that she seems to barely knows him and we don’t see how their relationship has developed before this scene.

In another scene we see Prince Michael confront Ugo’s friend Ngozi to tell her to warn Ugo to steer clear of him as he is “engaged to another.”  This scene doesn’t even make sense as he issues this warning just after he has dumped Ugo because he thinks that she accepted money from the palace to stay away from him. Why would he even be in the frame of mind to at that time to talk about being engaged to Ugo whom he believes has just committed the biggest betrayal ever?

I said that after her performance in Street President that I wanted to see Collette Nkem Orji again but this was not the vehicle that that was going to allow her star to shine so let me not bother commenting on her performance and hope that next time I see her in something better.

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Ugezu! Ugezu! Ugezu! OGA I do not know what is happening with you. I have not seen anything good from you since Millennium Lady and Strength to Strength. These were delightful way above average movies that I recommended highly and since then I have seen nothing but a slew of garbage unoriginal “royal” stories. Please pick the projects you choose to work on more carefully. I still have faith that you can make a comeback with works worth raving about. Let 2010 be a much better one.

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I would not recommend this movie. The sound was echoey on and off throughout the movie. It is the kind of movie that is so uneventful; you will watch and forget what happened in about a week. I stopped half way through part 2. It seemed pointless as it was so predictable and quite a chore to watch.

Sexy Girls

Sexy Girls

Originally uploaded by NollywoodForever

Sexy Girls
Story, Screenplay, Director – Rahim Caz Chidiebere

Starring:
Uche Ogbodo
Mercy Johnson
Nonso Diobi
Chinelo Oloh
Benita Akpofe
Uju Aroh

Themes:
Lesbianism
Campus Life

My Rating: 3%

Movie starts with Uche Ogbodo approaching a chick called on campus to be her lover. She tells her,

“I been searching for a girlfriend.”

From nowhere a dude steps in to save the girl in question. With a deadpan expression and voice he says,

“No all you need is a man and not a girl.”

Already I can see the movie is a big flop but I decide to persevere a little longer. The next scene is Uche and her friends in a restaurant beating up a guy who is just as expressionless and deadpan as the first guy.

It is in the next scene in the movie that I give up altogether. We see two girls asleep in a bed at night. One of them reaches over and touches her roommates breast. Oh how pathetic. The whole scene was pathetic. The girl who was doing the touching did not look like she wanted to touch any breast, the girl who was getting touched was just as useless and actress. What a stupid useless movie and concept.

It must be said that Uche Ogbodo needs to find some clothes that fit her. Just because Eucharia Anunobi wears clothes that are too small and people love her it doesn’t mean that you should do the same. She at least has some talent. This is the second time that I am seeing Uche wearing some clothes that are too small since she has put on weight. Baby girl, accept the fact that the weight is there and get some new clothes!!!

It seems like Mercy and Nonso no longer respect themselves. What on earth would make a heavyweight like Mercy even get involved in this trash is beyond me. The others can be forgiven because they are up and coming and would ruin any movie that had any hope. This movie was seriously bad… So So bad. I think I got through about 15 minutes. It is not watchable. DO NOT even do it to yourself, but if you do please make sure to come by and tell me so I can tell you… I TOLD YOU SO!!!